Out of the mouths of babes

• "I'm being haive!" -- 2 year old son, when his mother told him told to behave
• "I'm not an oxymoron!" -- 7 year old
• "TNT." -- Given as an answer for a written spelling bee, when the teacher called the word "dynamite."
• "I'm glad I'm finally eight. This is the oldest I've ever been in my entire life!" -- 8 year old son.
• "I had to read and write six book reports." -- Girl, in an email to her friend, attempting to explain what she had to do over the summer. She later tried sending a correction, which read, "I had to read and write six books."
• "Oh, well Mom said all I had to use was the sponge and dish detergent." -- 12 year old daughter, when her father told her he used elbow grease to get the dishes clean
• "Do they look after the Pokemon?" -- City kid, when asked what a gamekeeper does.
• "Why don't you get some expensive money?" -- 3 year old daughter, when told by her mother that she could get a small toy but that the ones asked for were too expensive
• "I have a rock in my nose." -- 2 year old son, greeting his mother after preschool, a full hour after recess was over.
• "There's no one in there." -- 6 year old son, in response to seeing his father hanging pictures and tapping on the walls to find the support beams.
• "Quiet!" -- 4 year old, when asked what begins with 'M' and sounds good.
• "If I was a raccoon I would eat the farmer's corpse." -- A kindergartener, writing a story about what we would do if he were a raccoon
• "Well, sometimes I say something mean to my brother, but I feel really good inside. Does that mean I'm a hypocrite?" -- 7 year old girl, after a Sunday School teacher explained that a hypocrite was someone who says one thing but feels something else.
• "Daddy, did your hair slip?" -- 3 year old son, to his bald but long bearded father
• "Daddy picked them up and looked underneath. I think it's printed on the bottom." -- 3 year old son, when his mother asked how his father knew the genders of four new baby kittens