Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Out of the mouths of babes

  • "I'm being haive!" -- 2 year old son, when his mother told him told to behave
  • "I'm not an oxymoron!" -- 7 year old
  • "TNT." -- Given as an answer for a written spelling bee, when the teacher called the word "dynamite."
  • "I'm glad I'm finally eight. This is the oldest I've ever been in my entire life!" -- 8 year old son.
  • "I had to read and write six book reports." -- Girl, in an email to her friend, attempting to explain what she had to do over the summer. She later tried sending a correction, which read, "I had to read and write six books."
  • "Oh, well Mom said all I had to use was the sponge and dish detergent." -- 12 year old daughter, when her father told her he used elbow grease to get the dishes clean
  • "Do they look after the Pokemon?" -- City kid, when asked what a gamekeeper does.
  • "Why don't you get some expensive money?" -- 3 year old daughter, when told by her mother that she could get a small toy but that the ones asked for were too expensive
  • "I have a rock in my nose." -- 2 year old son, greeting his mother after preschool, a full hour after recess was over.
  • "There's no one in there." -- 6 year old son, in response to seeing his father hanging pictures and tapping on the walls to find the support beams.
  • "Quiet!" -- 4 year old, when asked what begins with 'M' and sounds good.
  • "If I was a raccoon I would eat the farmer's corpse." -- A kindergartener, writing a story about what we would do if he were a raccoon
  • "Well, sometimes I say something mean to my brother, but I feel really good inside. Does that mean I'm a hypocrite?" -- 7 year old girl, after a Sunday School teacher explained that a hypocrite was someone who says one thing but feels something else.
  • "Daddy, did your hair slip?" -- 3 year old son, to his bald but long bearded father
  • "Daddy picked them up and looked underneath. I think it's printed on the bottom." -- 3 year old son, when his mother asked how his father knew the genders of four new baby kittens

Monday, June 4, 2012

Ways to Use Your Unconventional Baby blanket

In the past week, the Boy has discovered about a dozen new uses for his Unconventional Baby blanket.

1.  He made a tent with it (a time honored tradition, of course). 
2.  He made me tie it around his neck like a cape, and then ran around in just his blanket and Captain America underpants, pretending to be an Avenger.  Yes, I took pictures. 
3. He swept the driveway with it.  Yes, this happened.
4. He wrapped his Mommy Turtle up in it so she didn't get cold.  Awwwww.
5.  He used it as a whip in the coffeeshop.
6.  He had a picnic on it.
7. He hid under it.  Didn't you know that it is -impossible- to see a child if they are hiding under a blanket?
8. He rolled in it and became a burrito boy.  His words.
9. He polished his new Lake Michigan rocks on it.
10.  He used it as a shield from the wind of the fan.  This was a terrifically fun game that I still don't quite understand.
11.  He used it to make a fairy house with.
12.  He snuggled it at bedtime, tiny little fingers rubbing at the silky edge in his sleep.  Which is nothing new, but still sweet enough to melt me, even after all this time. 

<3